I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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