I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
