Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
