I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Randomize
