There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
