is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
It's never too late to be topless.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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