Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
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i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
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He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
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