Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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