no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Randomize
