he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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