so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Randomize
