wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
