I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
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