He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
