I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
His nipple licking is glorious
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