By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
