Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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