But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
