The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
