whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize
