you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
