i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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