he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize