So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
You have to summon your inner elephant
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
