Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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