happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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