White coat. Heels.
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
organizing the empties. That sober.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
