She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize