That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
