I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
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