Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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