using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
