it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
