is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
