Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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