First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Randomize
