Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
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