Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
