You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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