brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Randomize
