Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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