can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
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Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
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I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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