My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Randomize