I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
