i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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