Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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