my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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