Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Randomize
