and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
He kissed a someone with a penis
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
