how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
