I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
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