So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
