There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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