She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
