I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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