I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Randomize
