Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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