Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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