there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
