I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Randomize
