I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
My liver just broke up with me...
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Randomize