I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
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