I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
