Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
